Another Mother Podcast: Running and relationships
I had a great time as a guest on Another Mother Podcast talking about navigating running-related relationship bumps. Listen to the podcast now!
A few notes that I want to add that I didn’t have a chance to cover on the podcast are:
What is a healthy relationship?
One where there is a solid friendship, mutual support, equal and shared decision making, love, trust, respect, understanding, kindness, giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, being able to resolve conflict in a positive way and compromising. Both parties are able to own their issues and baggage and not blame their partner for everything. Partners discuss and share childcare and chores in a way that feels best for both people. There is no perfection in relationships, but it is important to work on developing the above elements and repairing any damage or harm done to each other as part of resolving conflict.
Pre-Marital Counseling
I highly recommend pre-marital or relationship counseling for anyone who is committing to a long-term relationship. Marriage often comes with a lot of unspoken assumptions that can ruin a well-functioning relationship if not discussed. This is more of a threat for heterosexual couples who have had a lifetime of gender role socialization and relationship models that may not be the most effective for healthy relationships. Same-sex couples are less impacted by this because they usually have to figure out their relationships outside of these “traditional norms” and don’t face as much social pressure to fit into these societal norms. However, they are still impacted by growing up in families and communities that assign certain roles to the genders. All in all, couples should define their own relationships in ways that work for them and not fall into rigid or imbalanced ideas of what each person is supposed to do in the relationship or in the family. If each person feels loved, respected and equal then you have a healthy relationship.
Couples therapy
Therapy is a great tool to improve communication skills, self-awareness and relationships. Many times couples show up to therapy when things are at a very rocky stage or at the end of the road. It’s better to go earlier in a relationship and work on making sure you have the tools and skills to build the kind of relationship you want.
Reading Recommendation
Read: How to Make your Marriage Gayer to learn some great tips on creating relationships that are happier and less restrictive.
Dr. Cory Nyamora is a licensed psychologist, an endurance sports coach with certifications from USA Triathlon. He is the founder of Endurance – A Sports & Psychology Center, Inc. He provides running and triathlon coaching for beginner and experienced athletes, as well as psychological services to athletes, children, adults, and families. He provides trainings for organizations on topics related to the intersections of sports and mental health and overall wellness.
At Safaricom Lewa Marathon, Kenya
